


The Perfect Team

by seamus_finnigan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Flirting, Hidan and Reader Are Both Kind of Dicks, Jealousy, Lemon, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Some Deidara Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-04-29 10:52:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14471109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seamus_finnigan/pseuds/seamus_finnigan
Summary: Moved from your regular pairing as a tracker with Zetsu, you begin to work with the immortal pair of Hidan and Kakuzu. You're far from the perfect team, but somewhere between all the fights and flirting, you find yourself falling in love.





	1. Chapter 1

"Why the fuck are you coming with us? Aren't you on that plant freak's team?"

You sigh. Two seconds in and already there's a problem. Not that you had been expecting any different, having been assigned to the most aggressive team in the Akatsuki. "It's Zetsu. And yes, I was partnered with him but Leader thought it best I work with you for now. Apparently you two aren't getting your bounties quick enough, and he said you could use a tracker to speed things up."

"Well I don't need your fucking help, so get lost," the Jashinist spits out.

"Really? I was under the impression the slow pace of your missions is almost entirely your fault. I don't think I was assigned here because Kakuzu isn't focused enough on the job." Hidan grimaces and tightens his hand on his weapon. "You keep killing people with valuable information and getting wildly off track with your little sprees. I'll be honest; I'm here to babysit you more than anything else."

That pisses him off. With a growl, he recklessly swings at you with his scythe. Laughing, you effortlessly dodge your teammate's flurry of attacks. "You won't get anywhere like that! Trust me, I wouldn't be working with you two if you were capable of killing me. You may be strong, but I'm faster," you say, ducking under his blades and sweeping his legs out from under him with a well timed kick. "And smarter, too." You lean down and offer Hidan your hand, which he grumpily swats away, standing up on his own.

"If you two idiots are done making a scene, let's go already. We've got money to make," Kakuzu says, already walking away from the two of you.

"Right you are, my friend."

"We're not friends," Kakuzu replies bluntly.

"Whatever. C'mon Hidan, we've got to work to do."

 

"Who the hell are we looking for anyway? And when the hell are we going to get there?" Hidan whines like a child, dragging his scythe along the dirt road.

"ANBU, Makoto Fukuda. And we'll get there when we get there," Kakuzu responds curtly.

"Do we even know where he is?" Hidan asks. Kakuzu shakes his head. "Great fucking help you're being (y/n). Isn't this supposed to be your entire job?"

"Patience, Hidan. We have a last known location, so this'll be easy." Half an hour later, you reach the shrine the ANBU member was last seen in. Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you focus your chakra, searching for the trail of energy that will lead you to your mark. Your concentration flickers as you feel someone walk very close in front of you. So close you can feel their breath on you.

"The hell are you doing now? Taking a nap?" Losing the scent completely, your eyes snap open.

"Get away from me. I'm trying to work here." Hidan doesn't take a step back, instead choosing to look down at you with an impish grin.

"Hard to focus on anything else when I'm around, huh? I understand perfectly." You glance at Kakuzu, who is counting his money for the fiftieth time. Can't expect any help from him. You roll your eyes, trying to ignore Hidan, blocking out everything but the feel of the enemy's chakra. You follow the faint trail, pulling until you reach the stronger source. You're brought from the cold, dark shrine to somewhere where a brook babbles and sunlight streams through the trees. It doesn't feel too far from you.

"Forest to the east. Three other ninja, not as strong but most likely also ANBU. Target is asleep, but two are on guard." You relax, and your senses return to you. The first thing you notice is a hand trailing down your side to rest at your waist. "The hell!?" you yelp, rearing back and slapping your hand hard into Hidan's face. He pulls his hand back and laughs at your reddening face.

"You're way more fun to mess with than moneybags over here." You splutter, not sure how to respond to what just happened. "Well don't let me hold you up, we've got work to do right? Lead the way," he says, feigning seriousness.

You turn on your heel and storm out, keeping as much distance between you and Hidan as possible. You don't have time to fight with him now; you're on a mission. But he'll pay for this later.


	2. Chapter 2

The forest isn't quite as calm and peaceful as it had been when you were following the chakra trail. Now the babbling stream just yards behind you couldn't be heard over the agonizing screams of a man bleeding out on the ground and the taunts of the Jashinist who stands above him.

"Come on Hidan, hurry up and kill him already. This is taking forever."

"Shut up! I have to make it a good death. It's part of my religion!"

You sigh. "Is it part of your religion that you have to be getting off to it? I feel gross just being near you."

Hidan chooses to ignore this, stabbing himself in the leg again and again as your mark tries and fails to get to his feet. You and Kakuzu have already finished off the rest of the squad, so once Hidan finishes you can head out. Hopefully it won't take more than a few minutes for the man to bleed out.

"Ahhh..." Hidan moans, "this pain is delicious..." He plunges his weapon into his chest, eyes rolling back in his head slightly. The ANBU lets out one last scream of pain as the life drains out of him.

"Finally! Let's move then, no wonder you guys are always falling behind schedule."

Kakuzu gives you a pitying look, taking a book out and beginning to read. "Unfortunately, (y/n), we'll be here for quite some time. Hidan insists on doing his worthless ritual each time."

"Hey! It's not worthless! I have to honor and thank Lord Jashin for this gift!"

You groan, watching Hidan lay down in the symbol he drew earlier with the stake still lodged in his chest. "And how long does that normally take?"

Kakuzu doesn't look up. "An hour or so, usually."

You curse the two of them for not at the very least letting you know this would happen earlier. You left in the morning for this mission, and it looks like you probably won't be heading home until nightfall. After all, the nearest drop off point is a long walk. You sigh and close your eyes, drifting off to sleep.

 

"Wake up. We don't need to wait on you too now."

You blink a few times groggily before getting to your feet. "Thank god, is he finally done?"

"Tch. You heathens have no appreciation for this kind of thing." Hidan stands up and takes the stake out of his heart. He slowly limps over to you and Kakuzu.

"Don't tell me that's as fast as you can walk now. Why did you have to stab yourself in the leg like fifty times?"

"Don't complain," Kakuzu says. "Just carry him or something. I don't have time to patch him up." He leans down and hefts the mangled shinobi Hidan tortured over his shoulder.

"Are you serious? I don't need this bitch to carry me, I'm not fucking five."

"You certainly act like you are," you reply, stepping in front of him and wrapping his arms around your neck. "Just get on my back."

"Hey! You're not the boss of me. I can walk just fine."

"Hidan," Kakuzu says with a growl.

"You're not the boss of me either!"

Hidan grumbles a bit more but allows you to hoist him onto your back. You didn't think you'd have to give a grown man a piggyback ride today, but you were learning that this team was absolutely crazy and it would be better for your sanity to just go along with it. Feeling a hand creeping down to your chest, you snap, "Put your hands anywhere they don't belong and I'll chop you to bits and carry you that way." The hand is quickly retracted. "Can't you carry him instead, Kakuzu?"

"I'm carrying the bounty, and he's worth far too much to leave in your hands."

"Hey, I bet Hidan's got a good bounty on him too, right? Can we at least drop him off at the exchange too?" you joke.

Kakuzu stifles a laugh, something you hadn't realized he was capable of doing. The man seemed to be in a state of constant annoyance. "Believe me (y/n), I wish we could."

"What the fuck kind of teammates are you? I swear, I'm going to kill the both of you someday."

"You already tried that this morning," you snark. "I have the feeling you're really just a big softie anyway. You don't have what it takes to kill your buddies."

"Please never refer to us as 'buddies' again."

"Fuck no, I hate the two of you."

"Well, you could at least act grateful that I'm carrying your lazy ass back."

"I didn't ask for this!"

Arriving at the exchange point, you opt to wait outside, letting Hidan off your back and sitting behind him. He looks pissed, but it seems these two are rarely in a good mood. "Hey, let me see your wounds," you request.

Hidan raises an eyebrow at you but doesn't hesitate in whipping his cloak off to show you the nasty stab wound in his chest, which is still oozing. You gesture for him to roll up the leg of his pants and he does so. Laying your hands over one of his wounds you channel your chakra into him. The wound begins to close and you move onto the next one.

"Shit, I didn't know you were a medical ninja too," Hidan says, impressed.

"I'm not really, I just know the basics," you say as you continue working. "You still won't be able to run around or anything too easily, but it should be better." You give Hidan a gentle push to get him to lie down. You move your hands to the toned muscles of his chest. This one is way beyond your ability, but you're healing it the best you can. Hidan's chest rumbles with a slight chuckle.

"You using this as an excuse to feel me up or something?"

"Idiot," you say, blushing a bit. "I doubt I'd need an excuse if I wanted to, I'd bet you offer yourself pretty freely."

"Sure," he replies. "Offer's always open to you babe."

"Alright, someone else can patch you up the rest of the way, I'm not keeping my hands on you a moment longer."


	3. Chapter 3

When Pein orders you to join Deidara and Sasori after several weeks of missions with the immortal combo, you jump at the opportunity. You're hoping teaming with the two artists will be a more pleasant experience than dealing with Hidan constantly bickering with either you or Kakuzu, but it doesn't look like it'll pan out that well. Why do all the Akatsuki pairings have to be so dysfunctional? The whole way to and from your mission the two artists fight over what art truly is.

"Art is explosive! Instantaneous, fleeting! Those lifeless puppets of yours aren't art at all, un," Deidara exclaims, waving his hands around dramatically to emphasize his point.

By contrast, Sasori is quiet and subtle. "You idiot," he scoffs, "I actually have to put effort into my work. I spend hours perfecting the most beautiful puppets to use. Whereas you just spit out useless sculptures that you destroy just as quickly."

"You don't get it all!" Deidara huffs. "(Y/n), un, you're on my side right?" he asks.

You stare upward, having been trying to tune them out for the better part of an hour to no avail. "You know guys, I'm starting to think the most beautiful thing in this world is silence. Imagine walking back to the base, no fighting, just enjoying the quiet."

"See, she agrees with me, un! Silence, broken in a moment, fleeting! Just like my sculptures!" Deidara says, twisting your words to support his point.

"That's not what she meant at all, you fool. Just shut up already." The two continue to bicker for the remainder of your journey.

The minute you arrive at the base you flop down onto the couch next to Kisame, exhausted. You're glad he's home, since you two get along pretty well and he's one of the most reasonable members in the organization. He looks at you, concerned, as you sit with your head in your hands.

"I thought you would be happy to get away from the zombie combo. Are you feeling alright?" he questions.

You groan and pick your head up to look at him. "I thought having a break from my team would be nice too, but those guys argue even more than Hidan and Kakuzu. And at least when I'm paired with them Hidan's nice to look at, so I have something to occupy my mind. I was bored out of my fucking mind today."

"Shouldn't have said that, my friend." Kisame laughs and motions for you to look behind you. Hidan is standing a few feet away, cocky look on his face as usual. Great, now you've bolstered his ego even more.

"You know, that might be the first compliment you've ever given me," Hidan says, taking a seat on your other side. You look to Kisame for support, but he gives you an apologetic look as Itachi enters and he gets up to leave for his own mission.

"It'll be the last, too," you deadpan, watching Kisame go. Hidan doesn't seem bothered. He puts his arm on the back of the couch over your shoulder and whispers in your ear.

"You know, if you want to see the rest of me you can always come down to my room. I'm even nicer to look at without my clothes, trust me."

You leap up from the couch, red as a beet. "Sorry, Hidan, I would but your personality is absolutely dreadful and anyone with any standards at all would refuse you." You hurry away to your room. "I'll see you around."

"Hey." You stop and look back at him. "Why weren't you with us today, anyway? You switchin' teams?"

"No, just a one time deal. They needed me today. Why, did you miss me?"

Hidan grins. "Sure. You're not bad to look at either. And being stuck with Kakuzu to talk to is fucking hell. All that geezer cares about is money. He's no fun."

You quirk an eyebrow. "And I'm fun?"

He laughs. "Nah, you're a frigid bitch. But I bet you could be fun if you tried. Anyway, your reactions are better than Kakuzu's, he always just tries to murder me."

"Later, Hidan." You walk back to your room, leaving Hidan alone on the couch.

"She really hates you, huh?" Deidara asks, stepping out of the kitchen once you're gone. "I thought you were supposed to have a way with the ladies, un."

"Fuck off, Deidara," Hidan snaps. "She'll come around." Deidara snorts.

"Sure, un. While you're waiting for that to happen I'm going to see if she wants to come somewhere with me instead." Deidara walks out. A couple minutes later, Hidan watches him return with you in tow. "We're going into town. Have fun here by yourself, un." Deidara winks cheekily at the man seething on the couch.

"Fucking whore," Hidan spits out as you pass. You don't even glance in his direction, showing him your middle finger and closing the door behind you as he curses.


	4. Chapter 4

"Do Itachi next!" you request, laughing at Deidara's impression of your teammates. Deidara puts on a serious face, glaring at you.

"We are bound by the shackles of human nature. It is foolish to think differently, correct?" he says in a soft monotone.

"That doesn't even really mean anything, you know," you say, chuckling. You order another drink for the two of you. "Definitely nailed the voice though. You're a lot more fun without Sasori around."

"He pisses me off sometimes, un! He doesn't understand the beauty of my art."

"Yeah, but let's talk about something else. I heard enough about that last mission." You take a sip of sake, starting to get red in the face. It's been a while since you actually got to leave the base for something recreational. It'd be hard to spoil a night like this.

Unfortunately, life always finds a way. You're telling Deidara a story from your childhood when someone loudly takes a seat next to you, elbowing you in the process. You whirl around angrily, but the words are lost when you recognize the man. Hidan ignores you completely, putting an arm around the girl next to him and signalling to the bartender. You turn your back to him, trying not to listen as he flirts with the giggling woman.

"Sorry, Dei. Anyway, like I was saying, he manages to fend them off but he starts to slip..."

Deidara has a disgusted look on his face. You're about to ask what's wrong when you're interrupted by another bump beside you. You turn around to see Hidan passionately french kissing his date. Anger bubbles up in your chest and you grab his shoulder roughly. You pull him away forcefully, causing him to break the kiss.

"The fuck do you want, bitch? Can't you see I'm busy?" Hidan glares at you, but you don't give him an answer.

"What are you even doing here, Hidan? You couldn't let me have one decent night out?" you accuse.

"Hey, I'm minding my own damn business here. Not my fault if you're jealous," he argues back.

"You're kidding me right? You just happen to come to the same bar, get a date, and sit right next to me and I'm supposed to believe you're not messing with me right now?" You start to raise your voice, certain this is going to devolve into one of the shouting matches you two frequently get into.

"Hey, (y/n), maybe we should go." Deidara puts a hand on your shoulder, gently tugging you away from Hidan. Hidan's date nervously attempts the same.

Hidan and you turn away from each other to growl at the two. "You're not involved in this, so get the hell out!" you shout in unison.

Deidara holds his hands up in surrender, backing away from you and making his way out of the bar. Hidan's date has already booked it, seemingly terrified of the two of you.

"I know you're immature but I can't believe you actually followed me to the bar. What's your problem with me, Hidan?" You face him again, seething.

"My problem is that you're a slut for everyone else, obviously, but with me you're a goddamned prude. I don't get how you'd brush me off to fuck that pretty boy."

You blink at Hidan once before pulling back and punching him square in the jaw. He hisses and grabs his face, standing up quickly and knocking over his stool in the process.

"The hell was that for, you bitch?" He looms over you and you stand as well. It's not as intimidating as you'd like, since you don't really have space to stand between him and the bar stool and are forced to crane your neck to look up at him. The bartender has disappeared, presumably to fetch a bouncer, but you're too pissed to care.

"Well, I'm a slut right? I thought pain pleased you. You're getting off to it all the time." You try to punch him again, this time in the stomach, but he grabs your wrist and twists it.

"You fucking know it's not like that!"

"Well, what is it like then? I don't get what's up with you at all. You're an asshole to me half the time and flirting the other half and now you're going to get jealous when I hang out with other members?" Hidan opens his mouth but you cut off whatever response he has. "If you'd rather be spending time with me try not being a dick all the time! And there's not even a reason to be jealous, I didn't do anything with Deidara and..." you ramble on before trailing off. "Whatever, you wouldn't get it anyway." You wrench your hand out of Hidan's grip and throw the money for your drinks on the counter, leaving him standing there gaping like a fish.

 _Why does he bother me so much?_ you think to yourself as you stomp back to the base to lay fuming in bed. Your stomach churns as you remember watching him kiss and flirt with that girl in the bar. _Shit, I am jealous. I'm actually falling for that jerk._ You sigh, a little disappointed in yourself for letting him get to you. _Great, I've got a mission with him tomorrow, too._

The next morning after breakfast and an apology to Deidara, you warily approach your two teammates. Hidan is refusing to make eye contact.

"You two ready to go then?" you ask. Kakuzu nods and the three of you head out. It's unusually silent as you walk along; no one is bickering today. Normally you'd welcome the change but you're not fond of the tension in the air. Letting Kakuzu lead a bit, you fall back to walk in line with Hidan, figuring it'll be up to you to make amends. You doubt Hidan has ever made a genuine apology to anyone. "Something wrong? You're not complaining for once."

"Tch, I just don't feel like it that's all. Don't you like it quiet anyway?"

"Yeah, but I don't think you're doing it to be considerate. Not really your style. You still upset about yesterday?" Hidan doesn't respond. "Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you but you kind of deserved it." Silence. Clearly Hidan isn't in the mood for conversation, but you persist. "So, um, you're from that village famous for its hot springs, right?"

"Hmph. It was a ninja village before those peace-loving pussies turned it into a tourist trap."

"You ever go to the hot springs though? They're good for destressing."

Hidan rolls his eyes. "Look bitch, when I need to relax I slaughter people. I don't waste my time sitting around in hot water."

"So, you wouldn't be interested in coming to the springs near the base with me once we're done with this mission? I usually go with Kisame but I figured you might enjoy it. But if you don't want to, no problem."

"What?" Hidan looks at you blankly for a moment. Then his trademark smirk appears. "Leaving my cloak open isn't showing enough skin for you?" He laughs once. "So you do want me after all, huh?"

"I'll call it off if you're going to be an ass about it."

"Alright, geez, don't get so fucking worked up." Hidan perks up a bit, walking with a swagger again. You smile to yourself as the two of you catch up to Kakuzu. "Hey, old man, who the hell do I get to sacrifice today?" Kakuzu berates him before repeating the mission instructions to the Jashinist, and the two quickly begin to argue. You groan. Definitely not going to be a quiet trip anymore, but at least everything is back to normal now.


	5. Chapter 5

You're half dreading, half excited for your 'date' with Hidan, daydreaming all the ways it could go wrong or right when, you're snapped out of your reverie by the sound of coins clinking on the counter and Kakuzu's low grumble of a voice.

"Two rooms until tomorrow. No service. We'll be out by noon."

The woman behind the counter smiles and thanks Kakuzu for his business. As she heads to the back wall to grab your keys you sidle up to Kakuzu and ask quietly, "Uh, Kakuzu? Don't you mean three rooms?"

"I'm not paying any more than usual just because you're on our team now. It's much cheaper if you room with Hidan," Kakuzu replies, unconcerned.

"What? Why don't you room with him then? You're both guys so that shouldn't really be a problem. I don't care to spend all night with him trying to get into my pants," you complain.

Kakuzu scoffs and takes the key from the receptionist, handing you yours. "I would rather die than deal with him a minute longer than I have to. You'll manage."

"Can't I share with you instead? I won't bother you, honest. I can sit there quietly all night," you plead.

"No," Kakuzu says flatly. He really doesn't have any empathy at all.

"What're you two whispering about, huh?" Hidan gets up off the lobby couch, standing beside you and using your shoulder as an armrest. Great, now he's going to get into the argument too. Just what you need.

"Apparently we're rooming together."

"You and Kakuzu? Something goin' on with you two? That explains why you won't have any fun with me I guess," Hidan smiles mischievously at you.

"No, dumbass. You're with me. Kakuzu's too stingy to get another room," you explain.

Hidan turns to argue with Kakuzu, as expected. "You're always such a fuckin' tightwad. Jashin despises those who value money too much you know. It pisses me off! Hell, it's against my beliefs to even be doing these fucking missions with you all the time." 

"I don't give a damn about your false god. The only thing I believe in is money."

"Jashin will punish you for that one day, Kakuzu!"

You've heard this same debate a thousand times by now. Tired of listening to them arguing all day already, you grab Hidan's hand and head off toward your room. "Forget it; it's no big deal. Let's just go. I'm tired." For once, Hidan actually drops the issue and lets you pull him along. You shoot him a puzzled look. "You're being more mature than usual. I've never seen you give up a chance to fight before."

"Whatever, the old man's not worth it," he responds casually.

You let go of Hidan to unlock the door and the two of you step inside. The room is decent enough, and you're grateful at the very least Kakuzu didn't insist on staying in a cheaper, dirty inn. There's only one problem; as you assumed, the rooms only come with one bed. Not quite mentally prepared for the task of pushing off a horny Hidan yet, you decide to stall. Hidan flops down on the bed while you head off to the bathroom to change into your nightclothes. You suppose you might be able to avoid the issue altogether by sleeping on the floor. It wouldn't be the comfiest thing, but better than being groped all night. When you return, Hidan is clad only in his boxers, hands resting behind his head on the pillows. Not very much of him is left to your imagination. You tear your eyes away from him; no way you would let him catch you checking him out.

"God, Hidan, put some fucking clothes on," you say, rolling your eyes and pretending to be annoyed. Better not to let him know anything about your attraction to him.

"Hey, this is how I always sleep. Not like I fucking knew we'd be sharing a room when I packed."

"I kind of doubt you would've brought clothes even if you had known. You're an exhibitionist as well as a masochist, huh?" you joke.

"Well, maybe. I'm a kinky guy. And you're forgetting sadist. I'd be happy to demonstrate," he flirts, grinning at you confidently.

You laugh. "Best I stay away then." You lay your cloak on the floor and move to turn the lights off. You stretch and settle in for the night. Hidan sits up and gives you an odd look that you can barely make out in the dim moonlight streaming through the windows.

"Why the hell aren't you coming to bed?"

"It's fine, you can have it. No problem there, right?"

Hidan shrugs. "Whatever you say, lady." He gets under the covers and makes himself comfortable, still looking at you. His gaze is making you uncomfortable so you roll over to stare at the wall instead. It's actually kind of cold in the inn, and you quickly begin shivering. You don't exactly have anything else to use as a blanket, so you resign yourself to a sleepless night.

You can hear Hidan shifting from across the room, but pay him no mind until you feel his footsteps getting closer to you. You feel a fabric drape around your form, recognizing it as Hidan's cloak. You smile and pull it up to your chin; he's being unusually kind today, too. You expect him to go back to bed but he startles you by picking you off the floor, carrying you bridal style. "What are you doing?" you ask, face flushing from embarrassment.

"I'm not going to listen to you bitch tomorrow about being tired, so just get your ass in bed and stay there. I don't care if you sleep in my cloak if it gets you to stop shaking. You're seriously pissing me off." He sets you down on one side of the bed before climbing over you to lay down on the other. Surprisingly, he keeps his hands to himself. Everything he's doing today seems really out of character for the man.

"Thanks, Hidan. You're not so bad, huh? Didn't know you were such a gentleman under that crude exterior."

You smirk as his cheeks dust pink, embarrassed for once it seems. He rolls onto his side to avoid looking at you.

"Tch! Just go the fuck to sleep already."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual content in this chapter. Still new to writing this kind of content, so let me know how I can make this better. Enjoy!

You wake up to a warm, heavy feeling on your chest and stomach. Blinking the sleep from your eyes, you try to sit up but find that you're pinned to the bed by Hidan's body. Somehow he's managed to end up completely horizontal on the bed, legs and head dangling off opposite sides of the mattress.

"Hidan," you say loudly. "Move. I don't want Kakuzu pissed at me first thing in the morning for being late."

Hidan mumbles something incoherent. You roll your eyes and give him a hard push. Unbalanced, he topples headfirst out of bed.

"What the fuck?" he yells, letting out a string of curses. Hidan glares at you, propping himself up on his elbows. "That fucking hurt, jackass!"

"You wouldn't get up. Let's go, we have a mission." You suppress a laugh. "Though maybe you should style your hair first. You look like an idiot with it all in your face like that."

"I've been up thirty seconds and you're bitching at me already? You're fucking annoying," Hidan grumbles.

You reach over the side of the bed to ruffle his hair. "Aww, you're cute when you're angry. Which, now that I think about it, is most of the time," you tease. He swats your hand away, rising off the floor and walking away from you.

"Fucking weirdo."

 

The mission goes smoothly, aside from Hidan's complaining during the trip alerting the enemy to your presence. His sour mood disappears once he gets into the fight, pleased to have a few sacrifices for his Lord Jashin. It's actually a pretty pleasant walk back to the base for once. Hidan's lust for blood has been sated, Kakuzu is overjoyed that you three managed to pick up an extra bounty (not that you would ever be able to tell by his expression), and you're just happy that everyone else is having a good time for once. Instead of quarreling, you spend most of the journey discussing books with Kakuzu. Apparently he likes to collect them, especially rare and old ones, and the two of you seem to have similar tastes.Feeling a tug on your sleeve as you near the hideout, you let Kakuzu go on ahead. You turn to meet the sharp purple eyes of your other teammate.

"We still doing this hot springs thing?" Hidan asks.

"Damn, I thought you forgot. I suppose, if we must." You sigh, pretending to be disinterested but betrayed by your slight smile.

"Like hell I'd forget." Hidan flashes you a winsome grin. "I wouldn't pass up a chance to see you like that," he flirts.

"Pervert. What happened to your manners from yesterday?" you reply. Not like you expect anything less from him. You're currently admiring his very handsome features anyway, so maybe you're not any better than him. "Let me go grab a towel and we can walk over."

You barely make it two feet inside before you're interrupted. Deidara catches sight of you and calls to you from across the room.

"(y/n)! Can I talk to you for a second, un?" The blonde enthusiastically waves you over. His bangs wave from side to side as he tries to get your attention.

"Sure Dei! Just wait for me by the door or something Hidan, I won't be long." Deidara throws an arm around your shoulder as you walk down to his room, not noticing Hidan glaring daggers at the artist. "So what's up?" you question.

"Well," he begins, "there's supposed to be a festival in one of the neighboring villages soon, un. I thought you might like to come with me? We can hit up the game stalls and go to the fireworks, un!" He looks excited about the event already.

"So long as you don't add any of your own art to the show, I'm down," you joke. "I'll ask Pein for the day off later."

"Awesome, un!" Deidara says happily. "So, what're you doing now? Going somewhere with Hidan, un? I thought you didn't get along with him."

"Yeah, well, he's been a bit better lately and I told him I would so..." You shift awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck.

"Where, un?"

"The hot springs," you mumble, embarrassed.

"What? Why didn't you ask Kisame like you always do?" You don't respond. "(y/n), you know you can't go there with Hidan, un! He'll totally take advantage of you with no one else around! I'll come with you," he insists.

"No, Deidara." You place your hands on his shoulders to stop him from bouncing around emphatically as he always does when riled up. "It's fine, really. Hidan's...not that bad, you know."

"You were fighting with him like two days ago, un!"

"Well, yeah, but that's part of it I guess," you admit. "I've been a little harsh with him."

He gives you a skeptical look but doesn't press you anymore. "Okay, un. But tell me if anything goes wrong. I'd love a chance to blow him to pieces."

You let go of him now that he's calmed down. "Better not. I don't want to heal him, and Kakuzu will be pissed if he has to stitch him together again. You do not want that guy mad at you, trust me."

"Fair enough, un. Still, come get me if he tries anything weird, okay?"

You agree and say your goodbyes to him before rejoining Hidan at the door, towel in hand. "What'd that loser want from you, huh?" he asks, looking annoyed.

"It's not important, and Dei's not a loser; he's my friend." Hidan huffs. "Oh, don't get pissed again, we're going to relax remember? Forget about Deidara, I'm hanging out with you now."

Hidan's expression softens just a bit, mollified by your response. The hot springs aren't far at all, and you soon split apart to get changed. More accurately, you split off since Hidan seems perfectly fine with stripping in front of you. You leave your cloak and clothes hanging over the limb of a tree and wrap your towel tightly around your body. Once you're certain it's not going to slip off, you head to the springs.

Hidan is already half submerged in the water, lounging with his arms resting on the edge of the pool. He makes no attempt to hide that he's checking you out, eyes roaming up and down your body a couple times before settling on your face. You dip into the pool beside him.

"Damn, you look nice."

"Same to you, surprisingly," you say looking at the barest hint of a mark on his pale chest where you healed him up after the mission. "Your wounds really do heal fast, don't they?"

"Just one of the perks of Jashinism, babe. We're always looking for new followers."

"Yeah, sorry, not really interested in that right now," you say. You lightly start to trace your finger around the faint mark. "It is pretty cool though." You glance up to find Hidan straight-faced instead of wearing his cocky grin. You have a short mental debate with yourself before looking back down at his sculpted chest. "Hey, you want me to give you a massage?" you ask boldly. "It'll help you relax more."

"Seriously?" You nod affirmatively. "How the hell could I say no to that? Go ahead."

You position yourself behind Hidan and place your hands on either side of his neck. You start with his shoulders, rubbing your thumbs in slow but firm circles. You press in as hard you can, trying to work out the tough knots. "You don't really take care of yourself at all do you? These knots are awful; you must be overdoing it."

"Hey, I can't go easy on anyone. Lord Jashin would be fucking pissed about that," Hidan whines.

You frown. "Well, you're welcome to join Kisame and I on our days off, unless Jashin disapproves of self-care as well. We do yoga and stuff to keep this sort of thing from happening. And come to the hot springs of course."

Hidan's only response is a disapproving 'tch'. You quiet down and instead focus intently on massaging the tissue all the way down Hidan's spine. He might be full of knots, but you still appreciate the feel of his body. Life in the Akatsuki has left him with very little fat and taut, firm muscles. You realize with a start that you've pretty much stopped massaging Hidan in favor of rubbing his sides from his hips back to his chest. He doesn't seem to be complaining though, so you wrap your arms around him and splay your hands across his chest.

Your hand slowly creeps lower, feeling his well-defined abs. He really wasn't lying about how sexy he was like this. Hidan stiffens and widens his eyes as you continue to feel him up. You sneak a quick peek and see that his whole face has gone red. "What, are you embarrassed?" you tease. "I expected you to enjoy this. You're supposed to be Jashin's gift to women or something, right?" Hidan is the last person you expected to freeze up in a situation like this. You try your best to resist laughing at the man.

He looks back at you over his shoulder and narrows his eyes at you suspiciously. "(y/n). Are you fucking with me or something?"

"Not yet, but I'd like to be," you reply smoothly, moving in front of him and throwing a leg over his to straddle him. "Probably would've done it sooner, but you're such a fucking cocky asshole and you don't deserve it." You dip your hand under the water between your bodies, playing with the edge of the towel around his hips. "You're improving though, so I guess I can reward you." Hidan is still just sitting there in apparent shock, tense and unmoving. "So, are we doing this or have you gotten cold feet?"

That seems to snap him out of his daze. "Hell yeah, we're doing this," he says, wasting no time in pulling your towel open and tossing it away somewhere behind him. Surprised, you instinctively move your hands to cover your chest, but Hidan laughs and pushes your hands away. "Who's got cold feet now, bitch?" he mocks, his usual demeanor returning in full force. You open your mouth to make a retort but all that comes out is a soft moan as Hidan starts to roughly knead your breasts with his hands. "You've got nice tits. The hell are you hiding them under your cloak all the time for?"

"It's kind of our uniform, idiot," you snark back. Hidan ignores you. He pinches one of your nipples harshly and you gasp softly.

"Just take the fucking compliment. I can tell you're enjoying it when you're making embarrassing sounds like that."

You scowl at him, but apart from that don't bother to protest. You let your hands continue to roam his body, gently groping his muscles. You never really get to fully appreciate how toned he is under his cloak, and you aren't planning to let this opportunity escape you. You run your fingers over his arms, stopping briefly to admire his biceps. Lugging that heavy scythe around has done wonders for him. You explore his chest once more, deciding to get back at him by tweaking one of his nipples violently. Hidan responds to your touch with a low groan and a buck of his hips. Right, he definitely gets off to pain. You dig your nails into his shoulders, grinding on him to relieve some of the growing tension in your lower regions.

"That's it babe. Give me more of that," Hidan growls softly. He moves his hands to grope your ass for a moment before gripping your hips, aiding you in grinding against his hardening erection. He lowers his mouth down to your breasts, continuing where his hands left off. He's rough, sucking and biting down a little harder than necessary, but you're too turned on right now to worry about him leaving bruises. Besides, no one would be able to see them but you.

You tug gently at the towel still secured around Hidan's hips. He pulls his mouth from your chest to smirk at you. "Getting impatient, huh? Who knew you were such a thirsty little slut." Hidan swiftly lifts you off his lap and stands up. You kneel in the pool, reaching up and pulling the towel down to expose him. He's not fully hard yet, but seems pleasantly thick at least. Experimentally, you rub your hand up and down his shaft with a lazy rhythm. You hear him sigh softly above you as you begin to pump a little faster, feeling him grow bigger from your ministrations. Once he's fully hard, you wrap one hand around his girth and gently take the tip of his cock between your lips.

"That's a good bitch, I didn't even have to ask!" Hidan fists his hands in your hair as you slowly bob your head up and down his length. You lick from his balls to the tip a few times, teasing him. He lets you continue your slow movements for a minute before his patience wears thin. Suddenly, he pulls your head forward with a sharp tug, forcing himself deep into your throat. You choke and pull away, glaring up at the amused man.

"Hidan, play nice."

"Did you forget who you're with, (y/n)? I don't ever play nice."

"Well, if you ever want to do this again you better learn to," you threaten.

Hidan's face lights up. "Oh, you want this to be a regular thing? So it isn't just a spur of the moment passion, huh? I've got a lot in store for you then, bitch."

"We'll see." You resume bobbing up and down Hidan's dick, abandoning your slow pace. You move quickly up and down his shaft, encouraged by his loud, shameless groans of pleasure. Seems he's just as much of a loudmouth like this as he is in every other situation.

"Fuck, fuck you're good at this little whore," he says, breaths coming out raggedly. "I'm going to fuck your cunt so hard you won't be able to walk for a week." He mutters obscenities like a soft prayer as you swirl your tongue around the tip. Hidan pulls your hair, softly at first and then harder until you release him with a soft popping sound. He grabs your shoulders and turns you around, leaning you over the stones on the side of the springs. You feel him position himself at your entrance, and you brace your arms against the ground. You wait a moment, but he doesn't move. Leaning down by the side of your face, he whispers into your ear. "Beg for it."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, whore. You won't get anything from me unless you beg for my cock. Come on, tell me you want it." Hidan prods you gently, but refuses to enter you.

Though you're aching with desire, you don't let it show. "Nope," you say, standing up straight and climbing out of the pool. "Guess I'll just finish myself off."

"The fuck?" Hidan stands there with a dumb look on his face before leaping out of the water to follow you. He catches up quickly, grabbing you and pushing you face first into the trunk of a tree. You can feel spring water dripping slowly off his hair onto your back. "Real funny," he snarls. "Fine, you don't have to beg but we're still doing this my way. After this you won't be able to think of anything except how good it felt when I took you." With that Hidan slams himself in balls deep. You cry out, but the sadistic fucker doesn't care. It probably just turns him on more. Not bothering to give you any time to adjust he thrusts in and out of you at a rapid pace. "See? You're fucking wet for me. You want this more than anything, dirty slut." You moan, making little noises of pain and pleasure as he slams you against the rough bark over and over again.

"Hidan, please," you whine softly.

"What do you want, sweetheart?" he whispers in a low, seductive voice. Your heart flutters at the oddly affectionate nickname.

"Touch me." You reach to grab one of his hands on your hips and guide him down to your clit. He smirks and lazily draws circles around it. "More, Hidan," you command. "Don't you want to feel me cum around you?" you ask with feigned innocence.

"Hell yeah, I do." He starts to press into your clit with vigor, rubbing quick rough circles into you. His other hand is back at your breast, squeezing tightly. You moan and buck your hips back to meet his every thrust. "Come on, (y/n). I'm so fucking close. Cum for me already!"

With one last shuddering moan, you comply, tightening around Hidan's cock. You squirm and spasm around him but he doesn't let up, pounding into you until he meets his own end. You wince slightly when Hidan's fingers dig deeply into your breast as he rides out his own orgasm. Finally his pace slows and he slumps against you, pressing you further into the scratchy bark.

"Not bad," Hidan says, breathing heavily. "Bit vanilla, but you're definitely a good fuck."

You gently shrug Hidan off and turn to face him. His face is mere inches from your own. You look into his hazy, lust filled eyes and resist the urge to throw your arms around his neck and kiss him. This is purely a physical relationship, you remind yourself, and it's doubtful Hidan would care to be romantically involved with anyone.

Hidan notices the look of disappointment flit across your features. "Hey, what's wrong? Not satisfied yet? We can go another round."

You shake your head and give him a weak smile. "No, I'm just kind of sore now that it's worn off," you lie.

Hidan seems satisfied with your answer. "Seriously? I warned you I'm a sadist, so don't complain about it," he says, grabbing his pants and cloak from beside the pool and starting to dress himself.

You gather up your clothes from around the corner as well and dress yourself quickly. Hidan is still standing by the pool, holding his pendant to his lips and praying softly. You politely wait for him to finish before approaching. "What're you praying for?" you ask.

"You can't just ask what I'm praying for, it's fucking rude." Despite this protest, he continues, "I have to inform Lord Jashin about any of my sexual relations, since it goes against the 'slaughter thy neighbor' creed if I don't kill you."

"Well I'm flattered you didn't consider just killing me. But it sounds like your god is an even bigger pervert than you if he needs to know every detail of your sex life." Hidan just rolls his eyes and falls into step beside you.

You walk in silence for a bit before you speak up. "Hidan, about tonight..."

"Yeah?" he asks, smirking cockily again.

"You can't tell anyone," you say seriously.

"Why the hell not? You ashamed of me or something?" he teases.

"Kind of, yeah," you answer truthfully, though you immediately feel guilty when his face falls. "I'll be the laughingstock of the Akatsuki if everyone knows you seduced me so easily. I'll never hear the end of it."

"I seduced you?" Hidan repeats incredulously. "You're the one who was all over me back there. I didn't start shit."

"Oh, please. You've been hitting on me since the day we met. If I recall, you groped me on the first mission we had together and you've been pretty consistent since."

"I wouldn't pull that shit if you didn't enjoy it! Don't be pissed at me for giving you what you wanted!" he shouts.

You close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose, trying to calm down. "Whatever, Hidan. Just don't tell anyone okay?"

"Fine, have it your fuckin' way," he snarls. "Most girls would kill to fuck a guy like me, but whatever, I'm too embarrassing for you. Worthless whore," he grumbles.

You grab Hidan's hand as he attempts to stomp away. He whirls back at you angrily and opens his mouth to yell out something else, but stops when he sees the abashed look on your face. "Sorry, that didn't come out right," you mumble, lacing your fingers with his. "There's nothing wrong with you, and you're not embarrassing. I just don't need to take shit from everyone else right now. Besides, I'm not sure how Pein would react to me sleeping with my partner. He might move me again." You rub his hand with your thumb apologetically.

"You care way too much about this, seriously. I won't tell any of those losers." Hidan looks away from you and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly with his free hand. "Anyway, (y/n)," he begins as you reach the front door, "want to have make-up sex?"

You let go of his hand immediately and stride off toward your room. "Goodnight, asshole."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Had a bit of trouble with this intermission. The next part is more or less written so it should be up soon.

True to his word and much to your relief, Hidan doesn't tell anyone about your new intimate relationship. He's actually surprisingly discreet about the whole affair, not openly treating you any differently than he did before. You can't imagine it's all that difficult considering his normal behavior around you would pretty much constitute sexual harassment if you weren't okay with it, but still. You are wary, however, of your other partner. Kakuzu was sharp, and you worry he may have figured out that you've only really been putting up token resistance to Hidan's advances as of late. It would also be hard for him to miss the change in his partner's attitude; Hidan can't exactly hide his pleasure whenever the two of you are 'forced' to share a hotel room on missions, knowing exactly what sharing a bed with you would entail. You do give him credit for trying though.

"Come on, you old fucker! It's impossible for me to get any sleep listening to her nag me all the time. Why don't you room with the bitch for once?"

"Why you complain is beyond me. I would think you'd savor the opportunity to sleep with any woman."

You and Hidan turn red in unison. "Please don't phrase it like that. Me? Sleeping with him? Come on Kakuzu, that's disgusting."

"Disgusting? I'm fucking gorgeous, bitch! I'm way out of your league, you ugly shit!" Hidan, idiot that he is, seems to be genuinely offended by your insult.

"You two are behaving like infants. Fine, if it saves me from listening to your shrill voices a moment longer, (y/n) can stay in my room. Providing you stay out of my way," Kakuzu directs the last bit to you.

"Oh, um..." You're taken off guard, but recover in a flash. "Yeah, that'll be fine. Thanks, Kakuzu."

Unfortunately, Hidan is not so quick to adapt. "Wait a second, you can't room with her! I always do!" You glare at Hidan, but it's too late. Now it'll be out in the open and you'll probably have to pay Kakuzu some ungodly sum to keep your secret.

"A moment ago, I believe you asked me to 'room with the bitch for once'." Hidan opens his mouth but can't think of a good response quickly enough. "No more of this foolishness. (Y/n), go ahead and get some sleep. Hidan, I'll need a word with you."

Hidan gives you an apologetic look over his shoulder as he follows Kakuzu around the corner. You roll your eyes, annoyed at the turn of events. Still, you're curious as to what Kakuzu will say, so you mask your chakra and listen in to their conversation.

You hear Kakuzu speak up first. "Out with it, Hidan, what moronic thing are you getting into now?" he asks bluntly, wasting no time.

"The hell are you talking about? I haven't done anything."

"I'm not a fool. There's something going on between the two of you. Whatever it is, don't let it get in the way of our work. I don't need you compromising our mission over a childish romance of yours."

"Romance?" Hidan repeats. "Relax, Kakuzu. It's just physical, so there's nothing to worry about. I'm a great lover, so there won't be any problems." Your heart sinks. You suspected this was the case already, but you had still hoped maybe he returned your feelings a little bit. But no, he only wants sex after all. His usual cockiness seems more grating than endearing all of a sudden.

"Spare me the details," Kakuzu replies, disgust evident in his tone. "Go ahead and room with her; just try to think before you do anything else idiotic. (Y/n) is a talented ninja, so if you need to be separated I'm going to cut you loose, not her."

"Hey! What do you mean, 'idiotic'? And I was your partner first, you can't just get rid of me! I should kill you right here!"

You silently slink down the hallway to your room before either of your teammates notice you listening in. Disrobing quickly, you let yourself fall heavily on the bed, sinking into the soft mattress. After a moment, you can't hear Hidan yelling anymore. You pull the covers up and roll onto your side, hiding your face in the pillow. The door creaks open and seconds later you feel the mattress sink as Hidan lays down. He must think you're asleep. Gently, his fingers brush up your side, stopping just under your breast. You feel him tuck your hair behind one ear before his teeth bite down gently on the now exposed earlobe. You can't help but gasp quietly.

"Ah, so you are awake. Would've been rude for you not to wait up for me," Hidan says softly, breath tickling your ear. His hand moves to your chest but you grab it and and lightly push it away.

"Not tonight, Hidan," you sigh.

He pulls his hand back and you turn slightly to face him. He looks a little confused; you've never rebuffed him before. "Did I piss you off or something?" he asks.

Yes, you think, but it's not really his fault. Maybe if you had been honest about your feelings you could have avoided this. "No, you're okay. I just...I'm not in the mood tonight."

"You're always in the mood when we're alone."

"Yeah, well, I'm not right now. Goodnight." You turn away from him again.

"Geez, you and Kakuzu are both extra weird today." You ignore him. "Fine, don't tell me what's up. 'Night."

You feel a little bad for being standoffish when Hidan's been clear about his intentions from the beginning. "We can do something in the morning, Hidan. Just let me sleep for now." He doesn't look too convinced.

"You sure everything's alright?"

"Aww, do you actually care, Hidan?" A soft 'hmph' is all the response you get. You crack a slight smile and kiss him on the cheek playfully. "What a sweetheart you are," you tease.

"Ugh, don't even joke about that. Seriously, you're going to make me throw up."

You frown and settle down to sleep. Maybe you ought to look for romance somewhere else.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for non-con in this part, but nothing too bad

You return to the base early in the afternoon, exhausted from a long walk back as well as your romp with Hidan. You flop down on the couch immediately, lazily returning the greetings of the few members milling about. Kakuzu, business-minded as always, ignores everyone and makes a beeline to your leader's office to make his mission report. Hidan takes a seat next to you, cleaning his scythe with a rag from the kitchen.

"Welcome back, (y/n), Hidan. You look tired," Kisame directs at you, settling down on an armchair nearby with a drink in hand.

"Hey, Kisa. Yeah, I'm about ready for a nap. We were gone for, what, four days?" Hidan nods in agreement. "Pretty much walking through the mountains the whole way too." The two of you chat amicably for a while (Hidan's quiet for once, focused on cleaning every last fleck of blood and dirt off his blades) before slipping into a comfortable silence. It isn't until Hidan walks off to his room and you're beginning to doze that Kisame speaks up again.

"So, I hear you're missing poker tonight. You've got a date, right?"

"Huh?" You rub the sleep from your eyes. "A date? First I've heard of it," you reply, yawning. "Probably just Hidan running his mouth again, but he didn't ask me to go anywhere."

"No, Deidara," he corrects. "He said something about a festival in town?"

You bolt upright. "Oh shit, is that tonight? I completely forgot!"

"It's a good thing you have me to remind you then. What would you do without me?" Kisame teases. "Though I'm a bit hurt you didn't think to invite me along."

"You know I would've had you and Itachi come if Deidara hadn't asked me first. I'll bring something back for you, okay? Maybe a goldfish if I can win one, so you won't be so lonely."

"Very funny."

"I should go get ready. See you later, Kisa."

You dash off to take a shower and change into civilian clothes. You're not sure if this is actually a date or if you're just going as friends, so you dress up a bit just to be safe. After giving yourself a once-over in the mirror you head down the hall and knock lightly on Deidara's door.

"One second, un!" You hear some shuffling before Deidara opens the door. He's dressed casually but you catch a whiff of a pleasantly sweet scent. Is he wearing cologne? Seeing it's you, Deidara's face lights up. "(Y/n)! Perfect timing, un, I was just about to come get you. Ready to go?" You nod and the two of you stroll through the forest down to the village. Strings of colorful lights and paper lanterns adorn the streets. Merchants and games are packed into the village square, each owner yelling out prices to attract passerby.

"Hey, want some dango? It's supposed to be really good here. Ooh, and then let's try the balloon pop!" Deidara takes your hand and drags you from stall to stall excitedly. He's really kind of cute, like a little kid.

"You really like festivals, huh? Did you go to them a lot back in Iwagakure?" you ask, sitting down to eat some of the sweets Deidara bought for the two of you.

"Hmm..." Deidara chews on his food thoughtfully. "I guess we had festivals every once in a while. I never really had anyone to go with, un. What about you?"

"I love festivals. I haven't been to one since joining the Akatsuki though. So thanks for bringing me along; I probably wouldn't have even known this was happening if you hadn't invited me," you admit.

"Anytime, un!" Deidara flashes a grin. "Come on, there's a lot left to do before the fireworks."

You hit up a few more food stalls and play nearly every game they have. You try valiantly to scoop up a goldfish for Kisame while Deidara cheers you on, but your flimsy net breaks every time. Though you do manage to win a stuffed shark at another stall. After buying a couple souvenirs for your teammates (a new wallet for Kakuzu and candles for Hidan's rituals), it's nearly time for the fireworks. You and Deidara manage to find a nice spot on a hill overlooking the square. Only a few other people are near your spot. They all seem to be couples.

"Alright, time for the main event! Let's see if these fireworks can compare to your art, hmm?" 

Deidara laughs. "I doubt it, un. Maybe I could put on my own show afterwards."

You shoot him a serious look. "Don't you dare. You promised me you wouldn't."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Look, they're about to start, un."

The two of you lay flat on the grass and watch the first rockets burst into a colorful array of sparks. Blue and red rockets streak across the darkening sky, forming hearts, stars, and other symbols. It's quite beautiful. You hear a soft whisper beneath the loud booms of the fireworks.

"What was that?" you ask, turning to look at Deidara.

"I said thanks for being here, un. It's nice being away from the base every once in a while. I'm having a blast, un."

You smile. "Me too, Dei." His face is really close to your own. You can feel your heart beating faster as he moves ever so slightly closer. You close your eyes and move to meet him. His lips softly meet yours; you can taste the sweets from the festival on him. As Deidara moves a hand to your cheek, you stop him. Something doesn't feel right, and there's a weird, unpleasant pit forming in your stomach.

"What's wrong, un?" Deidara asks, backing off immediately.

"I don't know, it's just..." You frown slightly. "You're really nice to me, and I like hanging out with you. I...kind of feel weird about this. Like I should like you, but I kind of like someone else and I'm not really sure how to feel about it?" You're pretty confused, but Deidara seems to get the point.

"Hey, don't look so sad, un! Sorry I put you on the spot like that. It's okay, really. Let's just enjoy the rest of the show."

"Thanks," you mumble embarrasedly, moving your gaze back to the sky.

After the show, you and Deidara grab one more snack before heading out of town. Deidara acts like nothing happened up on the hill, for which you're grateful. The two of you joke and gossip about your fellow Akatsuki the whole way back as usual.

You enter the base quietly; it's not that late so you doubt anyone is asleep but you don't want to disturb them regardless. Nobody is in the living room, but Hidan steps out of the kitchen in front of you, looking annoyed.

"Hey. What's-mmf!" You're roughly thrown against the wall, almost losing your balance but kept upright by the weight of the man pressing against you. Hidan's mouth is on yours, teeth pulling on your bottom lip, demanding entrance. You try to shove him off as he forces his tongue in, but he's too heavy to budge and you don't have any leverage.

"Get off her, un!" You feel something slide between your bodies before Hidan is pulled away from you. Gasping for air, you take a moment to get your bearings. You look up to see Deidara struggling to restrain your reckless partner.

"Let go of me, shithead!" Hidan reaches a hand behind him and grabs Dei's bangs, yanking his head to the side. Wincing, Deidara releases his hold. "And stay out of my way, got it?"

"No way, un! You think I'd let you do that to (y/n)? She's obviously not into it, so you're the one who should get out of the way, un!" Deidara is seething with an anger you didn't know he possessed.

"What, so you can move in?" Hidan shouts. "You touch my bitch again and I'll sacrifice you, fuck what our leader thinks!"

"She's not yours, un. Who'd want to be with an asshole like-" Deidara doesn't get to finish his sentence because Hidan's fist collides with his cheek. He stumbles backwards before regaining his footing and ducking Hidan's next swing. Deidara turns and kicks Hidan in the stomach before jumping back to get some distance, hands busy shaping clay. As Hidan pulls out one of his ritual spears from under his cloak, you realize you have to intervene before they tear up the base or each other. You leap in front of Hidan and grab his wrist holding the spear, twisting it. Hidan hisses in pain but makes no move to get around you. Satisfied, you send a glare back at Deidara.

"Alright guys, that's enough. Dei, put your clay away; we are not destroying the living room over this. And Hidan," you begin coldly. "You're coming with me. I don't know what shit you're trying to pull here but you will pay for it." You storm away from the two to your room.

"Better watch your back, pretty boy," Hidan threatens before following you down the hall.

"So, care to explain what that little display was all about?" you ask, sitting on the edge of your bed and crossing your arms in annoyance.

"What, am I not allowed to kiss you? The fuck is your problem?"

"Yeah, that's not gonna cut it, buddy," you say. You won't let him change the subject so easily. "You never kiss me, and if that's all you wanted you wouldn't have to do it in front of Deidara. I asked you to keep this shit between us anyway."

"Fine! I'm pissed that you're so fucking embarrassed by me, but you shove your tongue down that freak's throat in the middle of a festival for fuck's sake!" Hidan locks eyes with you, an odd expression you can't quite discern on his face. "And you're lucky I don't kill you, you cheating whore," he finishes quietly.

"Cheating?" You laugh. "I didn't 'shove my tongue' down anyone's throat but I get what's going on. You're stalking me again, huh?"

"I wasn't stalking you!" Hidan interjects. "I was bored so I went looking for you, and Kisame told me you went out with Deidara. I just happened to find you when that slimy freak was making a move on you," he says angrily.

"Hidan, you and I are fuck buddies. It's not like we're actually together, so it's really not your business what I do with anyone else. And yeah, I'm not embarrassed to be seen with Deidara because he's not a total dick." Hidan glares and lets out a small 'hmph'. "I keep what we do private because the last thing I need is you going around bragging about getting laid, like I'm some kind of trophy or something. That's all."

Hidan looks ready to argue, but seems to think better of it. "Fine, do whatever you want, bitch." He walks directly in front of you, blocking your view of anything else. "But I'm still pissed, so I'm gonna punish you."

"Hidan, just go away. I don't want to deal with you tonight," you order, pointing to the door. Ignoring this, he grabs your wrists and pulls them together over your head.

"I'm not giving you a fucking choice, dumbass."

"Hey!" you yell as he pushes you onto your back, climbing on top of you. You're not able to form any seals with your hands in this position, and if Hidan's got you beat in one category it's physical strength for sure. He moves to take off your shirt, but you kick out, landing a powerful blow to his stomach. He winces, then breaks out laughing.

"You're feisty today, huh? But watch it, I don't have to be so gentle with you." Hidan slides a hand under his cloak, pulling out the spear again. "I wasn't gonna restrain you, but maybe it'd be easier if I just pin you down with this?" You shoot him a scathing look, but stop kicking. "Good girl," he mocks. He makes quick work stripping you of your shirt and pants, tossing them to the side. Hidan pauses, frowning. He hooks a finger around the band of your lacy panties. "You dressed up for your date tonight? Thought you were gonna score with Blondie?" He shakes his head at you before pulling them out of the way and unclipping your bra. Hidan slides out of his own clothes smoothly. "Well, it worked out anyway, since you've got me. Now go ahead and get me ready, will ya?"

You don't intend to make this easy for him, choosing to remain laying where you are. Hidan rolls his eyes before scooting back against the headboard of your bed. He pulls you by your hair until you crawl up to meet him, forcing your head between his legs. "Well? Come on, it's not like it's your first time, you cock hungry bitch." Still you refuse to open your mouth for him. He pulls on your hair once more and your lips brush against his tip. "Ugh, you're just being difficult on purpose," he complains.

"Gee, Hidan, I wonder why," you respond sarcastically. "I didn't exactly ask for this you know."

"Fucking...whatever!" Hidan exclaims, voice shaking with rage. He takes a breath before speaking again, calmer this time. "I'll just have to get you in the mood then."

He gives up trying to make you take him in your mouth. Instead, he drags you by your arm off the bed and bends you over so your face is pressed into the sheets. Hidan holds you there for a moment, grinding against your ass, before starting to work on you. He licks his finger and reaches an arm around you, hand brushing down your body until he reaches your clit. His fingers rub in slow, gentle circles, teasing you instead of jumping right in like you thought he would. After a moment he alternates between continuing these ministrations and dipping lower to run his finger between your folds. Despite your best efforts, you can feel yourself involuntarily getting wetter. You know he's waiting to hear you give in and moan for him, so you bite your lip, refusing to give him that satisfaction. You think you're in the clear when Hidan's free hand sharply comes down on your ass and you let out a quiet moan you've been holding in. Unfortunately, it wasn't quiet enough to escape the zealot.

"Finally!" he says happily, backing away a bit. He smacks you again, harder, and laughs when you let out a little gasp. Satisfied, Hidan positions himself against your entrance again. "You like that, huh?"

"No," you growl.

"What?"

"I don't fucking like that. I don't like any of this. Not that it matters to you, you selfish bastard," you continue in a hollow voice. "Dei was right, I should've been more careful with you. Because underneath everything, you're just a worthless, perverted loser who can only exercise power like this. You know you couldn't take me in a fair fight. You're pathetic."

Expecting at the very least an angry comeback from the man, you tense up and let the seconds tick past. He's not moving, just gripping your hips so tightly you're sure he'll leave bruises. It stays like this for what feels like an agonizingly long time before you feel something warm and wet drip onto your back. A second later, you feel another drop between your shoulder blades. Was Hidan bleeding or...

"Hidan? Are you crying?" you ask, so surprised that you forget you're mad at him for a second.

"No!" he says adamantly, releasing you from his grip and recoiling back as if burned by the question. You push yourself up with your hands and twist to look at him. He's facing away from you now, hurriedly grabbing his clothes off the floor.

"You're not going to fuck me?" you ask confused.

Hidan pulls his boxers on and reaches for his pants. "You don't want me to anyway, right?"

"Well yeah, but..." You sit there dumbfounded as Hidan continues to dress. "Are you, uh, okay?"

"Just fine!" You're pretty sure he's not. Hidan pulls his cloak on, not bothering to button it at all, and practically sprints for the door. Bewildered, you lunge out and tackle him, wrapping your arms around his middle awkwardly. He freezes, hand an inch away from the doorknob.

"Hidan, I don't know what is up with your mood swings today, but you need to take a second and calm down." You pull him a little closer into you, away from the door. His hand falls limply to his side. Good, at least he wasn't running out now. "Hidan, turn around." You nudge him encouragingly. He turns around so you can assess the situation. His face is a mess, tears slowly and silently rolling down his flushed cheeks. He's probably embarrassed to be seen like this. It's certainly a weird situation; before now you could've sworn Hidan only had two moods: pissed off and cocky.

Realizing you have no idea how to respond to this, you wrack your brain for something to say. You're torn between the urge to slap him in the face and the desire to comfort him, and Hidan looks a little frightened. You take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying to calm yourself. "Okay, look, I'm sorry if I upset you." Hidan has the audacity to raise an eyebrow skeptically at you. "Okay, scratch that, you do kind of deserve it. You've been an asshole and I have no fucking clue what's going on with you. But I'm too tired to figure it out right now, so can we just go to bed and do this tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure." Hidan turns to leave but you take his hand and jerk your head in the direction of your bed.

"You want me to sleep here?"

"Yeah, so you can't skip out on me." You doubt his willingness to discuss his feelings, so it's best if he doesn't have a chance to avoid you. "Now come on."

You slip on your underwear and slide under the covers; you don't see the point in getting fully dressed considering the number of times Hidan's already seen you naked. He strips down to his boxers and joins you, laying on his side as far away from you as possible. You roll your eyes and inch closer to him, rolling him onto you so that his head rests on your breasts.

"Hey!"

"Stop being such a baby, Hidan," you say, putting an arm around him. You stroke his hair in a comforting way. You've decided to be nice for now, at least until he's calmed down. There'll be plenty of time to beat him up tomorrow if necessary.

"Alright, you won't see me complaining about this," he says cheekily.

"Just go the fuck to sleep already."


End file.
